Abducted by the Landlord

A few days ago I came home to find our landlord (probably in his late 60's) shoveling out the apartment parking lot with his wife. As with most of our run-ins, he spoke in very rapid Korean for a good 2 minutes. He can't speak a word of English, not even "hello." My approach is always to nod and say 네 ("nay" which is like saying "yes" or an affirmation) until I caught the words 오리 ("ouri" meaning "we") and 가치 ("ga-chi" which means together). Oh no. I tried to catch where, when, or what he was trying to tell me. He motioned to his mouth, which I took to be eating, then he smiled, nodded, and waved me upstairs. I fled upstairs with the assumption that sometime we bay get together for dinner.

OK.

Scott was home before me and had a similar experience. About 15 minutes later our landlord knocks on our door and launches into the same speech as before. after 5 minutes we realized he had no intention of leaving. He made a driving motion with his hands, and waved us out the door.

We aren't completely hopeless at Korean, but when it comes at us so rapidly in a random scenario we have very little to latch on to. Between the two of us, these are the words (the English translation) that we had figured out:

apartment
English language speaking
room 201
two students
private academy (hagwon)
high school
mother (room 201 mother)
Gilju Elementary school
Gilju Elementary school teacher (I gathered he was referring to me there)
we will go to Andong hospital together
my car
nearby
today

We did get into his car, not knowing what else to do. I felt like a detective fed random clues without a big picture. All we knew definitively was that we were going to Andong hospital, but we didn't know why. I had a few theories, based on the current evidence:

A. The mother of two high school students were formerly students at Gilju Elementary school.

B. Someone who speaks English moved into room 201, but they were now in the hospital and needed someone to talk to.

C. Since we've been sick all week, the tennents of room 201 feel we need to go to the hospital. Perhaps they found out because one of their students said their English teacher (me) at the Gilju camp was sneezing and having trouble speaking.

D. Let's see how far we can take to foreign tenants before they start freaking out.

After a few failed phone calls to get assistance, I finally got ahold of Taebun and handed the phone over to our landlord just as we pulled up in front of the pharmacy next to the big Andong Hospital. Ahah! We missed the words "nearby" the hospital and "pharmacy" in the midst of his fast talking.

The landlord talked to Taebun for awhile then handed the phone back, and even Taebun is confused. He says "remember I told you about the two high school students living in room 201?" No. He must have forgotten that one. What are two high school kids doing living alone in our building anyway? "The ones that want to speak English with you." He left that out too. "I don't really know, but I think this is an arranged meeting to start English lessons. Their mother works at this pharmacy." Oh dear. "You know, talking is fine, but you can't take any money." That I did know, because any outside work or tutoring is a violation of our contract. So that makes this whole situation a bit difficult.

When the landlord was mentioning the Gilju Elementary teacher, he was referring to Taebun and not me, because apparently he thought this whole thing was pre-planned and discussed. But when the mother of the two high school students sits down with us and tells us that she is the one who wants English tutoring, and 3 days a week, I realized that this isn't just a Korean to English translation mix-up, this is also a lack of Korean communication.

All the while at the pharmacy when this was being worked out with the mother, our landlord sat silently in a chair, arms crossed, leaning back and looking down at us from his upturned head; much akin to a mafia don. He did, after all, take us to a small location far from home to meet with a drug dealer (pharmacist). It all started to feel like shady English dealing under the table.

So we were stuck in the arranged meeting, which already assumed our acceptance and was for the sole purpose of arranging the dates and times. It was clear we couldn't go home until a bargain was made and phone numbers were exchanged. We told her we couldn't accept any of her money, but if she wanted to meet up with us once or twice a week to practice English conversation over a cup of coffee then that would be OK. We can be her English friends, not her English tutors. At least we postponed it until after we get back from America in March, so we'll see how it goes.

Priceless Language Moments 7

Britney Spears will never sound the same again after this one.

I was riding in the car with Taebun, who sometimes listens to American pop songs, and the Britney Spears song "Womanizer" came on. Somewhere in the middle, he asks me "what does 'womanizer' mean?" I told him that is was a term for a man who has a bad reputation for using women poorly. He laughed and explained that he assumed Britney was singing about a man who was turning into a woman, using the example of how "an energizer gives energy." But since Britney is a woman already, he applied the womanizing to the man himself. Good point. From a ESL perspective, applying similar rules to different words can have a hilarious result.

Britney Spears' lyrics (or whoever) lend themselves quite easily to Taebun's assumption, too:

WOMANIZER
Superstar Where you from, how's it going?
I know you
Gotta clue, what your doing
You can play brand new to all the other chicks out here
But I know what you are, what you are, baby

Look at you
Gettin' more than just re-up
Baby, you
Got all the puppets with their strings up
Fakin' like a good one, but I call 'em like I see 'em
I know what you are, what you are, baby

Womanizer
Woman-Womanizer
You're a womanizer
Oh Womanizer
Oh You're a Womanizer Baby
You, You You Are
You, You You Are
Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer

Boy don't try to front I (I) know just (just) what you are (are are)
Boy don't try to front I (I) know just (just) what you are (are are)

You Got Me Goin'
You're also Charmin'
But I can't do it
U Womanizer

Boy don't try to front I (I) know just (just) what you are (are are)
Boy don't try to front I (I) know just (just) what you are (are are)

You Say I'm Crazy
I got your crazy
You're nothing but A Womanizer

Daddy-O
You got the swagger of a champion
Too bad for you
You just can't find the right companion
I guess when you have won too many, makes it hard
It could be easy
Who you are, that's just who you are, baby

(and so on...)

I wonder how many other people in Korea have the same translation.

Priceless Language Moments 6

Another one so soon! A group of six 6th graders walked up to me in the office a moment ago, with one girl holding a piece of paper. After much coaxing into speaking English by Taebun and a lot of giggling, the girl decides to talk to me.

Girl: Can I *pause* interview you?
Me: Sure!
Girl: He *points to Taebun* says he...uh...thinks he is Ge-Genus.
Taebun: Genus?
Girl: Ah! No no...uh...Jesus! He thinks he is Jesus!
Taebun: I'm Jesus?
Girl: What do you think?
Me: Do I think that he's Jesus?
Girl: Ah! Uh...no. Gee- *takes out cell phone to check the dictionary* Genius!
*Taebun is laughing*
Me: Ah, he think's he's a genius. Do I agree? Well hmm...
Girl: No what do you think...about...his think...he is genius?
Me: Do I think he thinks he's a genius? *looking at Taebun* Do you think you're a genius?
Taebun: I don't know, maybe.
Girl: No, his think. *she speaks rapidly in Korean to Taebun*
Taebun: Sorry, I don't speak Korean. Speak English.
Girl: Ah! *after a few moments* Why did Korea-..no...why. did. you. come. Korea?
Me: Why did I come to Korea? Because I like teaching and I like Korea. It was a good match.
Girl: OK. Thank you.
*The group moves to the other side of the office to speak with Taebun, then calls to me again*
Girl: OK. What about his...pronunciation?
Me: It's very good.
Girl: Why?
Me: Maybe because he's a genius?
Girl: Ah!
Taebun: *after all the students have left* They asked me why my pronunciation was better than other teachers, and I told them "because I'm a genius!" but I was joking. So what they were trying to ask was "My teacher thinks he's a genius, what do you think about that?"

Priceless Language Moments 5

Taebun: What do you think when I say "Answer the call of nature?"
Me: I think you need to go to the bathroom. You can also say "Nature calls!" and leave the room.
Taebun: What about when I say "Number 2?"
Me: You need to poo.
Taebun: Is it common to say?
Me: Yes.
Taebun: Really?
Me: Haha, yes.
Taebun: You could say it to your friend?
Me: Yes, if you want to.
Taebun: Could you say it to your grandmother?
Me: If I want my grandmother to know what I'm doing in the bathroom, then sure.
Mrs. Im: How about "number 1?"

Priceless Language Moments 4

Mrs Shim: Sara, do you know "pile"?
Me: Yes I do, like a pile of papers? a stack?
Shim: *points to butt* pile. Women have pile. Do you?
Me: Oh? I don't know. Maybe?
Shim: Number one for patients here.

*I type "pile" in a google search and scroll down*

Me: Oh...right. We usually call that "hemorrhoids" in America.
Shim: Hem-er-oids? Can you make a sentence?

Priceless Language Moments 3

Mrs. Im: "Sara? You're driving me crazy"

*pause*

Mrs. Im: "Is it right sentence?"


This happens quite a lot. It always takes me a minute to realize that they are running English phrases by me for correction- not directing the comment at me. Sometimes it can get quite humorous.

Priceless Language Moments 2

The woman who drives me to school in the mornings now likes to prepare a few specific things to say in English about current events, which is really awesome. Today, this is what she had to say:

"10 men die handshake Obama," and tried again after looking at her notebook:

"10 men die shaking hands with Obama"

Now, my first thought was that my president has the handshake of doom. This IS big news. After a little while I figured out that she was trying to talk about the Swine influenza, and how she read that Obama went to Mexico and was shaking hands with people that were sick and later died.

Priceless Language Moments

Yesterday Taebun and I went to pick up my ARC card, but had to stop first at the medical center for a new copy of my exam (because he accidently gave my official copy to the ARC registry). While we were waiting, he got up and said "I have to go to the bathroom." When he came back, he asked me if he should have said "restroom" because there isnt' a bathtub in any of the hospital bathrooms. I explained that there isn't much resting going on in there either, and bathroom is more common. Unless, of course, you're in an English country outside of America where it might be the WC. He told me that when he was in high school the texts told them to say "where can I wash my hands?" which sounds silly, because if you really have to find a toilet then that won't always get you there.

He finally offered that a good option would be to say "I gotta pee," but then I learned that he thought it was "I got a pee" and pee was a noun. I had to explain that "gotta" is "got to" and "pee" is the verb so now we're all clear on the matter.

I am a little apprehensive about going back to the med center with Taebun, because now we're 2 for 2 on urine conversations.

And then today.

Mrs. Shim and Mrs. Im were talking about children and pregnancy. There is a woman that works in the principal's office that is pregnant with twins. Mrs. Shim was having a hard time explaining this to me in English, and tried saying "she gets pregnant" and then "she is pregnancy." She then asked "pregnancy is a noun?" I said yes "and pregnant is an adjective, because it describes her." She then takes out her notebook for writing down new English words, hands it to me, and asks "What is the verb for getting pregnant?"